At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Officially conquered sex on my couch with my dad asleep in the next room
I like how you say "conquered" as if that was your sole mission in life
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
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