I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Thankfully US customs doesnt have a checkbox for bringing semen into the country because my hair would still be in CDC quarantine
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I woke up in a lawn chair by the lake to some man revving his boat motor at me.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
