plz talk dirty to me
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I threw up in a mitten on my drive home. Wow.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
I achieved maximum drunk last night. It was pretty extreme. Woke up on a couch, outside, in a suit
Hey also tomorrow casually bring up wearing crocs to your sister's wedding
Nothing like sunday church bells to aid your walk to the pharmacy to get plan b
Randomize