We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
Is making out on a toilet while he is sitting down and pissing weird? cause that's what happened last night
are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
370HSSV 0773H read that upside down
what are you doing with your life
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
The cleaning lady even cleaned my bong. I'm scared to open my sex toy drawer and see if and how she organized it
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I don't even care that it's before church. I feel like God actually wants me to have this shower beer.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
