What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
I'm sorry. I just realized our 'big night out' ended up being you driving my high ass to get burritos and back.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Randomize
