I just cut my nipple shaving
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
found the other keg... it's in the tree
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
Randomize