i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
I've seen too many naked penises for this to be a normal Monday morning
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
