I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
