Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
Dude. I haven't taken a shit in a week.
Try anal, it works wonders.
If one more person calls me a lesbian I am going to have to give you head in public.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
The swelling on my elbow and tongue means I may have cockblocked myself.
I'm pretty sure I just woke up to one of the airport janitors saying that she wanted to tie me up and do something.. I couldn't hear what, thank god
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
If you can't seal the deal with her, I will. And you know I'll be successful. So there's your incentive
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I’m a lady. I promise I won’t oogle your junk when we go skinny dipping.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
Randomize
