Where is the hickey?
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
the day after is always just damage control
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
You love me.
That's because, tragically, I adore whores.
You're just mad at the fact that I want to be a car alarm.
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Randomize
