I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
According to last night if you on the sidewalk at 12 a|m\nYour a WHORE !
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
If I'm able to walk tomorrow morning, I'm gonna be really disappointed with myself...
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