You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
Dating is not our generation's strong point. We're an era that's good at getting laid.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
rainy day on campus = new personal fetish for girls in booty shorts and colorful rain boots
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
well now i know if i ever need to drive puke and talk on the phone at the same time i can
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
