dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I just faked an interview like I fake a fucking orgasm. Wonder if these candidates can tell I'm a tired and hungover recruiter?
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
And by go well you mean everyone's hammered right?
Yupp. And someone's bleeding
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
Thanks for DJing my sex last night. You were on point 💜
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
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