So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
You even been so high breaking up weed with your fingers feels like surgery?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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