Do you ever think God made girls unattractive around their periods as a warning?
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
Grass is always greener, Allison, grass is always greener
The grass is drunker and I'm lying down on it
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize