i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
driving around with you guys listening to the beach boys made me very concious of how white you all are.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
I'm stoned as hell watching the new Star Trek movie. My life is 110% better than it was an hour ago.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
Randomize
