Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
She's the barista slut.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
She just told me her legs are numb and that she dedicated her karaoke of ice ice baby to her 4 month old son.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm in love. Her name is Jamie. She's beautiful. She punched me in the face.
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize