Sometimes I wonder if my friend studies mystic Christian theology because he's afraid to come out of the closet. Evidently, it's okay to talk about God coming inside you, but not to say the same about dudes.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
With the amount of g's you put on going I'm gonna guess you're drinking alone again
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
Sorry I pissed in your closet and lied to your parents that it was probably a flood. He got up to go to the bathroom, expecting sex when he got back, I panicked
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
Randomize
