Hey when you come over to pick me up in the mornin bring a camera. This is going to be legendary. Don't knock.... They might cover up
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
It's been 5 months since I last wore a condom.
Not including when spray tanning
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
You went home with a man in a loincloth
I just watched him leave in half a loincloth. Don't you just love Halloween???
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
you're the one asking for my vibrator at 4 in the morning so reconsider your life
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
I think it might be the guy sitting next to me. I've concluded he HAS to be smuggling insane amounts of onions in his wardrobe to smell like that
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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