O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
So I almost just died there. And we need a new garage door.
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Randomize
