Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Maybe the problem is guy has to ask his wife if he can go out to lunch with his girlfriend for an hour...
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
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