i'm pretty confident that i watched a woman making love to a german shepherd.
he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
let's just say if he has a penis and he hypothetically needs to put it somewhere... i would take care of that for him.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
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