i don't plan on having that self control this summer
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
My mom and dad are smoking a joint while lecturing me on what to bring and how to act in Europe. I'll finish this glass of wine and head over.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
What is a foreign vacation of stupidity without some fake names?
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Last time we had an ultimatum like that, things went very far south. I'm down, but it's your turn to wake up in a hospital.
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I have finally found someone I enjoy for reasons that do not necessarily include his dick
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize