pedialite and red bull = repair kit
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
dude he's still passed out in my bathtub. and his dick is half way in a 40 bottle... i really hope he was just trying to piss in it
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
