Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
