am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
No I am not eating basil off your cock
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
Check snapchat. Selfie game still on point mid vomit.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
