You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
She slept with 4 other guys since we went on a break. And her ex. But apparently she hasn't given any bjs out of respect for me. Why does that comfort me?!
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
Let's go one conversation without mentioning cats or alcohol someday.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I just used the proceeds from selling my ex's engagement ring to fund my first date with another girl.
Got baptized for New Years. In champagne and cheap vodka.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I just opened my travel toothbrush holder and it smelled like vodka...maybe a vodka cranberry. This says a lot about my vacations.
Randomize
