why didn't you poke me back
Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
Some rando guy literally just put my shoes on and tied them for me because I'm drunk... Is this what it feels like to be a princess?
oh i see... well this is a positive first step in you courting him for sex.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
