I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
I really want to title the album "I want to make sex with your face" but I also want a job someday. Temptations, temptations.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
I was a battlefield of empty bottles and bodies. We though we won, but the booze had the last laugh.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Randomize
