From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
I smell like cotton candy and guilt.
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Randomize
