quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
i know they say sex burns calories but i think i actually gained weight from just lying there for the whole 2 minutes
someone owes me an orgasm
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
