On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
I know i should have focused more on what you were saying in the text rather than the fact you spelt "suicidal" wrong
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
One of the Mormon boys that comes to the door is really sexy and I always think 'I would absolutely destroy your faith'
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
