Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
I attempted to stand up and was quickly reminded by gravity that I am the universe's bitch right now
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
I just saw someone dressed as a bear leave your house on a motorcycle. I guess you guys are having a good time.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
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