help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
AND FUCKING MGMT JUST CAME ON. CAN I GO DROWN MYSELF IN LESBIANS OR SOMETHING? IS IT TIME TO LESBIAN
we're fated to lesbian
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
i now understand why vodka
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
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