Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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