im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
like are we talking 'quick beer' bad or 'break out the real vodka' bad
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
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