sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Only now do I see "not intended for use on skin" warning. Wonderful. But hey, my dick smells like magic marker.
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
The neighbor just yelled bring me back that big red alien penis.
The girl neighbor.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
I told two kids in their homecoming outfits to use a condom because of Ebola. I may have saved a life last night
It's the eve of Christ's birthday and I'm sending pictures of my tits
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
