Potential corruption. He's 19.
Get them while they're young!
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Ive given up on my natural charms. Im trying different accents till some girl wants to hook up with me.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I walked from the hotel to the club with a pint of tequila in my boot. Poured some in a homeless woman's mouth when she asked for change. I've hit rock bottom.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
My dad wants to dress like mitt Romney tomorrow night and tell trick or treaters they owe him candy.
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
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