Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
and he said i stripped him down, hand cuffed him to his bed post, and tickled his arm pits, and then continued to watch The Hangover.
That dick who always called me a slut in high school showed up at the clinic with boner problems. Then I was assigned as his nurse. Who's laughing now. I AM.
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
please come back they are interrogating me about masturbation
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
