I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
I just withdrew $200 in ones. I think the teller knew what was up
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Did you rob me and blame it on the strippers?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I need to leave my mind and my stupid vagina are having fight over who's right
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