dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
Cops just came and got two guys out of my class. I can't do college. Seriously cannot rage at this school anymore.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I said his dick tasted like a Hawaiian Sweet Roll. And then I yelled MAHALO.
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
Randomize
