If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
It was like a Michael Bay sized explosion located in my pussy.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Took it a bit far last night. While leaving his house, I sent myself a text that said, 'you're still pretty"
Look dude I'm sorry I used your bong to snorkel in my bathtub last night
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
I'm to the point that I've had the revelation that its physically impossible for my arms to be attached to my torso.
I'm making him come over again tonight. I don't know how long this thing will last so I want to spend as much time with his dick as possible.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
