Haha I wonder if my burp offended him. So I gave him a fist pump to signify how friendly I am
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I've literally never felt worse
My body feels like its decomposing
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
At first I was nervous about leaving him my undergraduate legacy, but apparently he made out with lesbians, woke up with hickeys and a different shirt. My family name will survive.
I just remembered you petting my nose last night to help the cocaine 'sink in'. I don't think that's how it works
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
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