found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
new number. flushed my phone last night when i puked, made B help me look for it for 2 hours.
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
At a Jewish lesbian wedding. I stick out like a sore, uncircumcised penis.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
i was in class looking for a pencil and found a chicken strip in my back pack. i think i might have a problem.. sad thing is i ate it
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