Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
You were pissed we didn't change the movie to Eurotrip so you kept singing "Scotty Doesn't Know" over and over until you passed out.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Did not foresee holding down food at work today to be a struggle today
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Had a dick customer and the words "eat my ass" slipped out. He proceeded to lick his lips and say present it. I think it's time I quit.
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize
