This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
OMG. if college stays like this, theres no way i wont be pregnant by first semester
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
There's nothing I can say to make me pepper spraying you any better
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Made eye contact with a friendly neighborhood dog walker while violently puking out the window. How's your Wednesday going?
my hand froze to the top of can of beer cuz i fell asleep outside. i decided to find a way to open the bottom of the can before addressing my severe frostbite. PRIORITIES!
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
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