Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
Mission leave-the-puke-on-the-floor-til-the-dog-eats-it completed. I work smarter not harder
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
