She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
Waiting outside the STD clinic 30 min before it opens already in a line up. It's like were all waiting for a concert that no ones really pumped for
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
He walked into the pizza shop... Pulled the fire alarm.. And proceeded to dance to it...
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
I just got a free round of shots. Don't you DARE fuckin tell me that A-cup boobs can't get you good things.
New discovery: your vibrator works on my balls. Technology is wonderful I love the future
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
I think even the taco bell employees judged me
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize