Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
did you know that if you have sex in the elevator on the way up that people can still get in?
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
I think your dick broke my retainer, I normally wouldnt care but my orthodontist died and I don't want my first appt to be blow job broken retainer with a new ortho.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
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