Me. At least after what I've been through.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
It was my first time buying condoms at the liquor store... I was nervous and there were quite a few people, so I tried to do it as quickly and quietly as possible. When I got to the Indian cashier, he took one look at them and said loudly, "Ohhh you gonna get it on tonight, ah?!"
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
Just had to explain my "wine me. Dine me. Sixty-nine me" key chain to my grandma...she took it surprisingly well.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
we went to the bar with our boss and you tried to play a song from the atm machine
My stepdad and I just tag-team hit on a server at McDonald's. This is the man I should have grown up with.
I just wanna lay in my bed all bundled up as have someone feed me lettuce
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
Owwwww. Yeah. I can barely move unless Im high on vicodin. We are bad at drinking/balancing. We will be the first to break hips and have to go into a home.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
Randomize
