I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
You walked in with a firecracker and a doughnut then demonstrated what a lazy job he did fucking you
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I don't need to marry the guy. I just need some filthy, shameful wish fulfillment sex and then live out the rest of my life on the bean farm.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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