My phone now changes "me" to "mrrrrrrrrh", thank you new years.
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Drinking vodka and pirating music in the library. Welcome to finals week.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
So drunk I thought the door was feeling me up for a seconds
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
