I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
I deserve to be covered in dicks
I swear to God, if you have sex in my bed one more time you're gonna start paying rent
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
