My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Oprah is sooooo fat. I can't even concentrate on Mackenzie Phillips talking about banging her dad
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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