one might say we're banned from that church
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Randomize
