Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Apple trackpads and semen don't mix. On the way to the Apple Store.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
You need an intervention. You fell into traffic walking home.
Not really. Birthday weekend. Totally jusifiable. Besides I didn't get hit. No harm no foul.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
It makes no sense at first, you go with it, it's fun and entertaining and then a disaster
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
Randomize
