I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I know you didn't add your TWO random hook ups from the weekend to your FB friends AND change your status to "Good Catholic Girl" on the same day.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
Randomize
