If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
i got my period today. mid walk of shame and im wearing a shirt that says stay classy. my life is a joke.
Randomize
