Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
I could tell by the Randy 'Machoman' Savage "hey brother" that you were beyond inebriated
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
I thought of you this morning when I woke up in a bed with a girl wrapped in duct tape dressed as a coors light can.
Two word: claymation porn. Think about it.
I don't think I can ever express my appreciation for the things you text me.
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
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