I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Guess which guy you've blown just made me sandwich at subway?
if theres anything i pride myself on, its my ability to look homeless.
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
Joke’s on you. I got to talk to a furry about why nukes are bad and why musicals are good.
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
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