I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
We need more drag queens in our life I've decided
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
That's probably when I climbed a tree and told everyone I was an ornament
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
Randomize
