so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
yea man just watch out- theres a shitload of broken glass in your bed
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
The number of mornings I actually have to say out loud to myself "you must put pants on and go to work" to get motivated is...troubling.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
At least you didn’t announce to an entire bar you’ve eaten pussy, and then knocked your beer over.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
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