Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
Hey, you should go to your facebook ASAP... i'm guessing you're wasted but you just uploaded a picture of someones dick...and everyones taking bets now if its Rick or Mikes..
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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