It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
You have dresses for different occasions. I need different men's dicks too. It's logic.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Oh I see how it is...you can snap chat the world your balls but I wear dinosaur feetie pajamas and I'm the "weird one"
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
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