But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
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