My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
There is a pool of ranch salad dressing in my purse...I know thats always been something you've wanted to try..so don't even act like you didn't do this.
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