Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
So the next morning, she had to tell her kids we were moving furniture around all night.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
where did this taco bell managers name tag come from ?
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Ps he swallowed my earring last night so yeah
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
